


Peace of Mind

by faultyheart



Category: Beronica - Fandom, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 22:47:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10626717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faultyheart/pseuds/faultyheart
Summary: Betty tries to reject her attraction to Veronica.





	

The first time Veronica Lodge kisses Betty Cooper was at cheerleading tryouts, less than 24 hours after they met. “Just trust me” were the three words that made it hard for Betty to sleep at night for a week after the incident. They were the last words Veronica said before she pressed her lips against Betty’s. Betty doesn’t remember how long the kiss lasted, but she does remember not wanting it to end. She also remembers feeling dazed, completely unaware of her surroundings. It was like it was just her and Veronica and everything else was silent. There were no voices in her head telling her she wasn’t good enough, no voices telling her to panic, and most importantly there were no voices telling her she shouldn’t trust Veronica. Because she did, she trusted Veronica regardless of the fact that they hadn’t even known each other for a day and that was a big part of why Betty spent her nights tossing and turning in her bed, trying to figure out what was so different about Veronica.  


  
On the seventh sleepless night since the kiss, Betty comes to the conclusion that the confusion she’s been feeling this past week was due to Veronica being her first kiss. She reassures herself that everyone must have felt this way after their first kiss and it was nothing to worry about. She also convinces herself that kissing must make it easier to trust someone. These newly formed hypotheses make it easier for Betty to sleep for a few days, but sleep and peace never played a major role in Betty’s life for too long. So when Jughead Jones kisses Betty Cooper in her room that day, Betty feels lost again. There was no daze. No crazy trust. And the voices in her head kept screaming. “Car” was the second word that haunted Betty at night. It was the first word she could come up with after her kiss with Jughead and she knew it was a stupid thing to say. It only took her a few days to get over that one. The peace came when she told herself the circumstances were different when she kissed Jughead. She knew that her mind and heart were in two different places at the time and that is why she couldn’t feel the same way she felt after her first kiss. She knew her mind was occupied with the Jason Blossom investigation and her heart seemed to be somewhere else. Though she wasn’t sure she wanted to investigate that mystery. That night, Betty also makes a decision to try again with Jughead.  


  
Betty’s third kiss was one that she initiated when she kissed Jughead for the second time, only a few days after their first kiss. It was better. Her mind was focused on him this time. Trying to calculate when to kiss him and with what kind of intensity and where to place her hands, but she figured this was normal because she wasn’t used to initiating kisses with Jughead yet. Of course it was normal. For a while after that, things were peaceful again, but as usual, that peace didn’t last. At times Betty thought that maybe she wanted to define her relationship with Jughead, but she wasn’t sure so she never did. That was until Veronica did it for her.  
“It’s just a word that starts with a b”, but it was more than that to Betty. To Betty, those words sent her down another spiral of trying to figure out all the different voices inside her head. What was so weird about the word “boyfriend” anyway? Jughead WAS technically her boyfriend. In fact, he was her first boyfriend and that should be exciting right? Betty didn’t know what she was feeling. Maybe it was the fact that this was her first relationship and defining it just made it feel more real. Real things were always scary for Betty anyway. The fear of failure or something going wrong was usually overwhelming when it came to real things. A small part of Betty also knew she was feeling disappointment, but again she decided not to investigate the source of her disappointment.  


  
Real things are scary and Betty’s fear was very real when she found herself alone at cheer practice one day, without her best friend and source of comfort. Cheryl would have no mercy on Betty knowing that Veronica wasn’t there to defend her and that made Betty nervous enough to feel nauseous. She was sure she was going to throw up in front of everyone, until Veronica walked in 10 minutes late. One thing led to another and soon Cheryl found herself on the losing end of a dance-off between her and Veronica. The dance-off might have been a mistake for Cheryl, but if you ask Betty, it was the best mistake she’s ever made. All Betty knew was that she was no longer nauseous and her anxiety was replaced with…happiness? Your heart beats really fast when you’re happy, right?  


  
On the day of Jughead’s surprise birthday party, Betty is feeling something she knows very well: Anxiety. Veronica was supposed to be there to help her get the house ready for the party, but for some reason she was late. She thought she was nervous about throwing a good birthday party for Jughead, but her anxiety seemed to disappear as soon as Veronica arrived to help her. As she went into the kitchen to grab the rest of the chips, she made a mental list of possibilities as to why she wasn’t nervous anymore. The first on the list, and the one that made Betty feel the most comfortable, was that Veronica was her best friend and best friends are supposed to be able to make each other instantly feel better. The second, was that Veronica was supposed to get the candles with her before she came over, and what good is a birthday party without candles? Betty is consciously aware that this would be a silly reason to get that anxious over, but she convinces herself that it is still a possibility. Betty searched her mind further for more possible reasons until she came up with another one. Was she nervous to see Veronica?  
Betty’s little mission to figure out her own mind put her back into square one: Anxiety. In her desperate attempt to actually enjoy herself, Betty decided to find comfort in a new friend: alcohol.  


  
Betty had always heard people say that drunk words are sober thoughts, but she never really had anything to say since she didn’t really like to talk about things that she didn’t understand or experience, but all that changed on the night of Jughead’s birthday party. The night Betty found herself in laying down in Archie’s backyard with her head on Veronica’s lap. The alcohol was very helpful in silencing most of the voices inside Betty’s head. In fact, it silenced them all, except one. It was the voice that was usually the quietest when Betty was sober, or at least the voice that Betty was getting really good at repressing. It was now screaming at her, but Betty was doing her best to distract herself from it. Betty doesn’t remember the whole night, but she remembers being in the backyard with Veronica. She remembers going out to watch the stars, but getting distracted by Veronica’s eyes. Veronica’s warm, brown eyes that had a way of calming her down. Those eyes that made it so hard for her to ignore the voice in her head for any longer. The eyes that closed as soon as Betty found the courage to sit up and press her lips on Veronica’s. The kiss was short, but soft and it felt so right and natural to Betty that it would’ve scared her if she weren’t drunk. “I think I might have feelings for you.” 8 words that weren’t exactly a marriage proposal, nor were they a confident “I love you,” but they were enough. They were enough for the brown-eyed girl who had been waiting for some kind of confirmation of her best friend’s feelings and they were enough for the blonde who couldn’t find real peace of mind until Veronica’s hands were on her face again pulling her into another kiss. This time much longer than the first.


End file.
